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  • Mood: Disgust
  • Reading: The Third Kingdom
  • Eating: Cream horn
 Lol I'm so flabbeh, and i'm getting self conscious. I think I really should start exercising SOME.  But I have so little drive, and I forget sometimes and once i forget once it continues until I just forget about it entirely, or I get depressed for a while and think fuck it, and by the time I wanna pick it back up i have lost all progress of what i was doing, so I get so discouraged I just let it go. *siiiigh*  I really would like to exercise more, I know if I could go biking more I would do that a lot but I can't afford a good bike. Not to mention, I reeeeeeally hate this body hair. so I have to get rid of that somehow and no, shaving is not a option for me lol. a good bike costs about $100 at the least, the thing i want to help get rid of this body hair is about 300 on average,I have to get my tooth fixed and it costs at the least about $200. My wardrobe is years old and are seriously wearing out, it will take a few hundred to replace that because you know, clothe shopping has become expensive as fuck. and not to mention I need to get an actual FULL life, not this partial life crap,where all I do at most is draw for bits of cash through out the month, never go anywhere or do anything, or have any one over, and all I have is a computer, and though I love most of you <3   I really need to have a real FULL life.  I sit so much because there IS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO I have this annoying sore ass where my pelvic bones and the seat I'm in squeeze the flesh until a sore wants to come up.  So yeah.

 Good news? I'm trying for my license again the 29th and I think I can get them this time. that's the first step. second step is to save money, get this tooth fixed, third, I'm thinking bike or something, and fourth I would "like" to get an Ilitepro which is what will reduce the body hair. but all this is going to take time and effort. I hope I can do enough to make me feel somewhat confident in myself again.  I hope I can even give myself the chance actually.

 I have said how tired I am of my life and how stagnant I am with...well everything xp  so HOW THE FUCK DO I DO IT?!  I know part of it, I just have to start, and stick to it. but it's not always that simple, especially alone.  Uuuuugh is the sad part of being alone like I am. Well I'm not ALONE alone but no one my age around for MILES. I live to far to walk, and to poor to drive. everything wants to keep me here alone and continuously becoming more flabby! Dx   I wish I could have the drive I feel right now all the time!   But I never do.. :c

 I end up convincing myself it's okay, and to just relax and be okay with it and stuff, I get used to it and become comfortable because I am never put into situations that I care about my physical appearance a lot. last time was last year late summer. for like 2 days.

 I HAD made a commitment to myself when new years rolled around, all I wanted was to get up earlier, drink more water and stretch daily, to become more flexible, I thought I was keeping my goals at a safe level, but maybe not.  maybe I had the simple down but the length of time was wrong for me.  So maybe I should go with a week. I'll start with seriously NO commitment after the point of a week. :3  Imma drink water (which I usually do drink some anyway) Imma stretch and maybe exercise some.I'll start when I wake up later today. with some ASS EXERCISES! 

 PS. I need a hair cut, or trimmed.  


Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States


Lv99-Blackmage has started a donation pool!
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I would like points to save my premium, now this a donation and i won't owe you anything if you donate but will get you brownie points hehe.

any amount would help more would be better ofcourse~

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Apr 24, 2014
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Sabishii-Neko 2 days ago  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
I really love your art ^^ 
Lv99-Blackmage 1 day ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well thank you
you should watch this artist, he draws this really cool Iguana…
Lv99-Blackmage Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes I have already faved that and I have been watching him for quite some time now. i enjoy alot of what he makes
I see you're not even my friend here on dA yet :( ... *sad*
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