Reading: The Third Kingdom
Eating: Cream horn
Lol I'm so flabbeh, and i'm getting self conscious. I think I really should start exercising SOME. But I have so little drive, and I forget sometimes and once i forget once it continues until I just forget about it entirely, or I get depressed for a while and think fuck it, and by the time I wanna pick it back up i have lost all progress of what i was doing, so I get so discouraged I just let it go. *siiiigh* I really would like to exercise more, I know if I could go biking more I would do that a lot but I can't afford a good bike. Not to mention, I reeeeeeally hate this body hair. so I have to get rid of that somehow and no, shaving is not a option for me lol. a good bike costs about $100 at the least, the thing i want to help get rid of this body hair is about 300 on average,I have to get my tooth fixed and it costs at the least about $200. My wardrobe is years old and are seriously wearing out, it will take a few hundred to replace that because you know, clothe shopping has become expensive as fuck. and not to mention I need to get an actual FULL life, not this partial life crap,where all I do at most is draw for bits of cash through out the month, never go anywhere or do anything, or have any one over, and all I have is a computer, and though I love most of you <3 I really need to have a real FULL life. I sit so much because there IS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO I have this annoying sore ass where my pelvic bones and the seat I'm in squeeze the flesh until a sore wants to come up. So yeah.
Good news? I'm trying for my license again the 29th and I think I can get them this time. that's the first step. second step is to save money, get this tooth fixed, third, I'm thinking bike or something, and fourth I would "like" to get an Ilitepro which is what will reduce the body hair. but all this is going to take time and effort. I hope I can do enough to make me feel somewhat confident in myself again. I hope I can even give myself the chance actually.
I have said how tired I am of my life and how stagnant I am with...well everything xp so HOW THE FUCK DO I DO IT?! I know part of it, I just have to start, and stick to it. but it's not always that simple, especially alone. Uuuuugh is the sad part of being alone like I am. Well I'm not ALONE alone but no one my age around for MILES. I live to far to walk, and to poor to drive. everything wants to keep me here alone and continuously becoming more flabby! Dx I wish I could have the drive I feel right now all the time! But I never do.. :c
I end up convincing myself it's okay, and to just relax and be okay with it and stuff, I get used to it and become comfortable because I am never put into situations that I care about my physical appearance a lot. last time was last year late summer. for like 2 days.
I HAD made a commitment to myself when new years rolled around, all I wanted was to get up earlier, drink more water and stretch daily, to become more flexible, I thought I was keeping my goals at a safe level, but maybe not. maybe I had the simple down but the length of time was wrong for me. So maybe I should go with a week. I'll start with seriously NO commitment after the point of a week. :3 Imma drink water (which I usually do drink some anyway) Imma stretch and maybe exercise some.I'll start when I wake up later today. with some ASS EXERCISES!
PS. I need a hair cut, or trimmed.